would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
