So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
