Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
