if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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