so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
