Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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