So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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