i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
