So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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