Me too!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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