There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
