escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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