i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
