Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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