I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
