I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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