How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize