nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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