Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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