I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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