Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
