sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
