he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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