He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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