he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
