I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
