What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
