Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
