But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize