im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
