kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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