I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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