You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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