Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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