just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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