I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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