dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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