one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
sarcasm needs its own font
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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