Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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