Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
