good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
