Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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