good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
