Tell her she can't have a vagina
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
