Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
