If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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