Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
