just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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