Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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