Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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