He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
