Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
