I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
