I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
