I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
