Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dick very happy bro
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
