Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just found puke in my bra..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize