So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
