Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
