I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
