i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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