Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
