Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
