tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize