I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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