Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize