nutella sex= disaster
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
