My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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