Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my poor anus
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
