Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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