What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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