whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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