hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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