i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
