elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry about my life...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
