playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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