I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
