I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
