Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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