yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize